Big Girls Don't Cry
by Guardian of the Nakano
Summary: "Do you have this in a smaller size?" That's the third time he's had to ask that question about the skirt his father requested to the sales clerk, and for all she knew, he was a she. Itachi is cursed with unfortunate circumstance, considering his feminine physical appearance. But, another curse, he's a remarkably good actor. Rated M for language, adult themes, etc. CrossdressItaSh
1. Chapter 1

"Do you have this in a smaller size?"

That's the third time he's had to ask that question about the skirt his father requested to the sales clerk, and for all she knew, he was a she. Well, she had no reason to believe Itachi was a boy, from his long, slender legs left bare from the short pleated skirt he wore to the black blouse that covered up just enough to give the impression he was just flat-chested. The beads he wore on his left wrist were oversized and clattered about on his thin joint. But what really enticed was the black choker that was clasped around his throat, plain black, but very, very sensual. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail, as always, and a few strands of hair hung freely around his face.

"No, ma'am, I'm sorry..." her voice trailed off as Itachi sighed. "But I'm sure we have something else you'll like," she added quickly, with a smile.

Itachi nodded, replacing the skirt and its hanger onto the rack, following the sales clerk.

"Oh, how about this? It's by the same designer as the previous skirt you picked out. It would look great with your top, as well."

Itachi shook his head.

"It has to be violet."

"Oh. Okay, well..."

"Um..." Itachi began, then turned to retrieve the skirt, bringing it back. "Do you know anywhere I could have this fitted?"

"Oh, yes," the sales clerk smiled. Itachi did, too.

**-o-**

Having the skirt fitted wasn't as awkward as Itachi had feared. And, thanks to his fluency is five languages, including Korean, he could hear the tailor commenting to her friend on how underweight he was. Though, he was used to it. He ignored it.

He dreaded returning home to his father, so he decided to kill time (And money) at the mall's local freak hangout, Ringer's. The store itself was offensive to most adults, but you'd see the occasional twenty-something frequenting the store. Itachi really came there, though, to browse through offensive and gorey apparel, from zombie tee-shirts to pins of the middle finger. Today, though, was different. He was a girl, today, meaning looking through the guy's section was a no-no, but he'd be goddamned if he wasn't gonna at least pick up a few finger hair clips.

Itachi made a bee-line for the tee-shirt racks despite himself and his appointed rules (He couldn't help it!), pushing through each cotten shirt, smiling and laughing occasionally. He was looking over a "Warning: Do not feed the Zombies" shirt when suddenly the shirt was knocked from his hands.

"Oh, sorry," a boy with incredibly messy hair apologized, picking up the shirt for Itachi, who took it back with an, "It's okay."

They met eachother's eyes for a few seconds. The boy nodded, then turned around, shoving the person behind him.

"See what you did, asshole? You knocked me into that girl. Quit actin' fuckin' stupid!"

"Don't fuckin' push me!" the other returned, shoving him back, right into Itachi, who, in turn, dropped the shirt and caught him before he hit the ground, knocking a few tee-shirts down in their wake.

Itachi lay Shisui down carefully then stood, approaching the offending teen.

"'Sup, babe?" The boy cocked his head in a supposed nod, "See me take out that pri-"

He didn't have much time before Itachi's fist cocked back, then made contact with his face. The teenager went sputtering backward, crashing into a display for adult costumes, coughing and wretching, attemtping to free himself from the lingerie and plastic. Itachi picked up the "Warning: Do not feed the Zombies" tee and payed for it at the counter, leaving before the cops showed up.

**-o-**

"What took you so long, Itachi?" Fugaku asked as Itachi came in through the front door, toeing off his sandals carefully and pushing them off to the side with his foot.

He cleared his throat. "Couldn't find the skirt in the right size. I had to-"

Suddenly, Fugaku slapped him. "Did I _say_ to stop, Itachi?"

Itachi shook his head, no, his voice becoming lighter, holding the bags with more of an effeminant elegance. "No, Father."

"That's what I thought. What, now, about the skirt? Tell me, then go get me more Jack," Fugaku placed the empty glass on the side table, sitting at the couch again, planting his feet on the footrest in front of him.

Itachi placed the bags down on the lounger and picked up the glass, fingering it delicately. "I had to get the skirt fitted. It was too big."

"Ah," was all he said as Itachi went into the kitchen, pulling a half-empty bottle of rum off of the top shelf of the pantry.

"On the rocks?" Itachi called through the open door.

"Of course."

He nodded, letting ice clamor into the glass, filling the rest with the amber liquid, replacing the bottle. He brought it out to his father, who took it without a word.

Itachi leaned over the bag, taking out the skirt. Fugaku let his eyes wander over his son's body, smirking slightly, when Itachi turned around.

"This one, right?"

Fugaku nodded.

"Okay, good," he replaced it in the bag, going to sit in the lounger.

"Ah ah ah, Itachi," Fugaku patted the spot next to him, motioning for Itachi to sit. With remorse well-hidden, he sat down carefully, leaving a distance between himself and his father. Fugaku smirked, placing his hand dangerously high on Itachi's leg, slowly slipping it up his theigh. Itachi closed his eyes, trying to hide his disgust, and allowed this personal intrusion. His toes curled into the carpet slightly, his back straightening as Fugaku's hands slipped beneath his skirt, which was far too short already.

"Something the matter?" he tried. Itachi shook his head no and Fugaku laughed aloud, pulling his hand away and finishing off the remainder of his alcohol in one swig, standing and walking into the kitchen. "You know, your cousin is coming for the summer, apparently. His parents are going over to some foreign country for a while, and they think it would be a good idea for you to meet. Ridiculous, right?" he let the glass clatter into the sink. "But, yeah. His name's Shisui, a total dumbass, but Mikoto favors him, so what the Hell ever," Fugaku came into the living room, eyeing his son once more, "Be a shame if he got attracted to you, wouldn't it?" he laughed, again, a bark of a laugh. "Go change, Itachi, you look like an easy slut."

Itachi stood. "Yes, father."

**-o-**

Itachi ascended the stairs and closed his door, locking it. He unzipped the skirt, pulling the blouse over his head and discarding it. He turned to look in the mirror, going to undo the clasp on the choker, but stopped. He tilted his head upward slightly, eyeing it, realizing how well it seemed to disguise anything suspicious. He left it on, lowering his chin again, discarding his clothes in the hamper by his bathroom door. He slid open his closet door and pulled out the first pair of jeans he saw, distressed slightly, but still girly enough for Fugaku, and a black spaghetti-strap tank top, brushing out his hair, then pulling it back, clipping his bangs back on the left side with a shiny black barette. Itachi looked himself over and sighed, reapplying eyeliner to his lower lids, blinking twice. He ran chap stick over his lips, rubbing them together, and decided he looked good enough to meet his cousin. Itachi let his gaze run over his painted nails and matching toenails, a shiny black laquor. For a split second, he hated his life. He shook of the dark thoughts, though, and hit the power button on his PlayStation 3, picking up the remote and selecting "Dead Rising 2".

**-o-**

"Oh, fuck it all!" He hollered at the screen a few hours later, as Crystal and Amber sneered rude and altogether provocative jeers at him, dropping his Dualshock onto the ground at the foot of his bed, burying his face in his arms, when he heard his mother call his name.

"Coming!"

Itachi hurried down the stairs, stopping suddenly when he saw a boy leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets, chewing on gum absentmindedly, a mop of messy brown hair on his head. _The boy from the mall..._Itachi thought.

"You're going to love her, Shisui, she's into video games and rock music, and all that..." Mikoto looked for the word to use, "Stuff! you're into."

But Shisui wasn't paying attention. He was looking at Itachi, instead, who had stopped dead.

"Hey," Shisui smiled, cocking his head in a nod, just as the teen who had earlier.

"...Hey," Itachi returned, walking down the stairs slowly.

"Nice to finally meetcha," Shisui pulled his cousin into a tight hug once he reached the landing. Itachi squealed slightly in surprise, but allowed the hug. He couldn't help but note how Shisui smelled absolutly incredible, considering he smelled like cigarette smoke, liquor, and Axe. He closed his eyes.

Itachi pulled back and took in Shisui's incredible smile. His teeth were remarkably white for a smoker, and his skin had a light tan. His eyes were a deep, deep brown, and his eyelashes were thick and long, angling at the corners just enough to appear as if they were pointed, giving him a very Oriental look to his dark eyes.

"...The same," Itachi smiled back shyly, averting his eyes. Suddenly, he met Fugaku's, and bowed his head.

Mikoto smiled, wrapping her arms around their shoulders. "See? Isn't this great? Family! We're all together now, and for the whole summer! We're gonna have fun! Are you hungry? Korea is an awful long ways away. I'll make you lunch!" and Mikoto sped off into the kitchen.

"Is she always like that?" Shisui asked.

Itachi nodded. "C'mon. I'll show you my room."

"Sounds good."

**-o-**

"...and this is the guest room, right here, where you'll sleep," Itachi smiled. "Feel free to decorate it. We never have anyone over anyways, and I'm sure Mama would love to see your own 'Personal Style'," he emphasized with air quotes. "She loves for us to express ourselves. Did you meet Sasuke yet?"

"Your little brother? Yeah. He's pretty cute."

Itachi absolutely beamed. "He is. Well, this is my room," Itachi pushed open the door.

"Dude..." Shisui walked in.

The walls were painted in an eloquent black pattern, a huge bed in one corner adorned with black and white silk sheets, the closet door covered in posters of various bands and video games. A collector's case of video games was stacked on one side of the sleek modern entertainment center, and the words "You have died" were plastered on the screen of his 32" flat-screen. The hardwood gleamed in the light, and various game accesories were scattered across the floor. Posters of video games were tacked to the wall.

"Oh!" Shisui picked up the Dualshock. "The twins?"

"Yeah. They're total bitches, really. Lay down and die, Goddamnit!" he laughed. To his delight, Shisui laughed too.

"Yeah, they piss the Hell outta me. Oh, good, you saved before you got in there. A flamethrower is helpful, but it won't do them in alone. Too weak, and too variable. But if you jump up on the lights hanging from the ceiling...right...here..." he motioned, "there's a broadsword. That'll take care of them. And there's steak in the bar right there, too. You can get, like, two if you get one, save, then go back. Same with the sword, just in case."

"Really?"

They sat down on the bed together and Shisui handed him the controller. "Your room is fuckin' awsome, dude," he leaned back on his hands. "You are the most badass chick I have ever met. And I know some people, man."

"Uh...thanks..." Itachi blushed, smiling.

**-o-**

"Yes! Yes!" Itachi shouted as Crystal fell to the ground, jubilant. "Now to take care of Amb-wait...what?"

"Cutscreen. Just watch," Shisui smiled, watching the screen.

"Huh...? Oh, damn!" Itachi bolted upright from his position on his stomach on the end of the bed.

"Yeah. 'She was my...other half!'" Shisui quoted.

"But she stabbed herself in the stomach!"

"Yeah, that happens," Shisui said off-handedly, chuckling. "Aren't you glad you finally beat them though?"

"Hell yeah! It's bad enough that they both have bigger breasts than me."

Shisui nuged Itachi gently. "Oh, c'mon. You'd really want breasts like _that_? Your back would hurt, guys would stare at you...and, plus, I don't think you'd look too good with huge tits like them. And theirs are fake anyways."

Itachi looked over at him, blushing, blinking incoherently. He shook it off and turned back to the game.

**-o-**

A few hours later, Mikoto ascended the stairs to Itachi's room, opening the door quietly. "Guys, it's time for-oh!"

She smiled when she saw the both of them asleep, draped across the bed awkwardly as music thudded from the speakers. "Guess they're tired." she shrugged, turning and closing the door behind her.

**-o-**

A/N: Here's the first chapter of Big Girls Don't Cry~

My next chapter story I've been working on for a while.

Itachi: She actually just left it sitting in her hard drive. I have dust on my skirt! (XD)

Either way, hope you enjoyed~I decided to post the first chapter as a sort of preview. I wanted to see everyone's reactions first.

So, yeah! Tell me what you think, so Itachi can wear some pants for once! (Poor boy/girl/Itachi thing :D)


	2. Chapter 2

Itachi groaned slightly, sitting up in bed when he noticed his leg was draped over something solid and warm and for some reason moving. Remembering that it was his cousin, he quickly replaced the girlish facade he lived with, noting that it was four in the morning and despite the awkward sleeping arrangement, he felt incredibly refreshed. Sitting up slowly, Itachi felt his back pop, standing and going over to the dresser, grabbing pajama pants and a tee-shirt, deciding that it would be far less trouble to change quickly while Shisui was asleep than to make a trip to the bathroom.

He heard a slight stirring on his bed but payed no mind as he pulled on the pajama pants, stretching.

"You wear boxers?"

Itachi jumped slightly, a jolt of shock bolting through his body. He cleared his throat, "I-"

Shisui only laughed. "That's hot."

Rolling his eyes, Itachi simply pulled on the shirt, returning to the bed. "Never heard of boyshorts?"

"If those are boyshorts, then I have got my gender painfully mistaken. I have the same exact pair sitting in my suitcase right now. Spinner's."

"Yeah..." Itachi glanced away. "Do you wanna change or something? I mean-your suitcase is right there, and there's the bathroom, and-"

"Are you always this shy?" Shisui chided, poking Itachi in the side. "I'm good here."

"Are you sure? Your jeans look uncomfortable."

"Are you implying that I _remove_ them, 'ta-chan?"

"No! No, God no. I was just saying-"

"Relax, bro, I was joking," Shisui poked Itachi in the forehead, laughing. "They're three sizes too big for me anyways, so they're comfortable."

"...why?"

"'Cause. They're more comfortable. And I look badass in them," he smirked.

"Do you at least wanna take off your hoodie? It's hot in here."

Shisui nodded, smiling appreciatively as Itachi helped him shrug it off. "You can stay in here. Don't want you falling out in the middle of the hallway," Itachi smiled, laying down beside him. He was surprised, however, when Shisui casually threw his arm over Itachi's waist, cuddling him slightly. "What are you doing?"

"Sorry, that uncomfortable?"

Itachi wiggled a bit in Shisui's arms, "No. Just odd."

"You're cuddly. And adorable."

Blinking twice, Itachi blushed. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean you're adorable and cuddly and incredibly huggable."

"You're weird."

"You'll get used to it."

A few minutes later, when Itachi was almost certain that Shisui was asleep, he heard behind himself, "Let's be best friends, 'kay?"

"...okay..." Itachi agreed, relaxing a bit more into this complete stranger's arms.

Only hours ago had Shisui found his way into Itachi's life, and suddenly he was so openly trusted by such a betrayed boy? Itachi shook his head slightly. _He's my cousin_, he reasoned, _that's why I'm so comfortable with it._

Blinking, he found that he enjoyed the feel of Shisui's arms around him, decently muscular, but not overbearing. He could feel Shisui's muscles through his shirt, too, which didn't make it any different. Feeling his cheeks tint a little, he relaxed into Shisui's hold completely, deciding he liked this.

-o-

"Morning, you two!" Mikoto chimed, putting her coffee down and smiling as the two teenagers came into the kitchen. "Still tired or something?"

"Shisui kicks in his sleep!"

"Itachi snores."

"Shisui recited the Emancipation Proclamation backwards!"

"Itachi is accusing me of being smart enough for that."

"You two get along so well already! I'm glad. Breakfast?"

"Please," they both groaned at the same time, Itachi getting up to help his mother.

"Sit," Mikoto pointed to the chair. "Sit. Go, no, Itachi, sit."

Itachi relented, knowing he couldn't win the argument, and instead went to the table, resting his head in his folded arms just as Shisui was.

"What are we gonna do today?" Shisui asked, slightly muffled.

"Dunno," Itachi returned, also smothered. "Mall?"

"Sure."

"Nii-san!"

Shisui winced as that sharp voice rang through the kitchen, hearing Itachi's chair slide and screech against the tile as he was tackled in a hug. "Good morning, Sasuke."

"Mornin' Saucy-cakes," Shisui looked up from his resting place, smirking at Sasuke's smile.

"Mooom! Shisui-'toko called me 'Saucy-cakes'!"

"Yes, dear, I heard him," Mikoto couldn't hide her smile as she swatted Shisui on the head with a rolled up magazine. "Bad Shisui."

"Sorry, Aunt Miki," he droned as Mikoto nodded with a slight "hm."

Mikoto set the plates down in front of them, welcoming the recieved thank you's, then left them to their breakfast, dragging a reluctant Sasuke along with her.

"Your mom is awesome," Shisui said through a mouthful of bacon.

"She is, isn't she?" Itachi agreed, but scowled at Shisui's blatant conversing even with a full mouth. "Don't talk with your mouth full."

"Sorry, _mom_," he droned. "This is incredible. Mama can't cook for shit."

"Isn't she usually gardening or something?"

"She's always somewhere, doing something. Nothing that pertains to being a wife, tell ya that. She hates cleaning, loves to eat but hates to cook, and can kick my ass at Mortal Kombat. She's epic. But she don't act like a mom sometimes."

"Wouldn't most people like that?"

Shisui scrunched up his nose at the notion. "I'm not most people, 'tachi."

Itachi blushed, embarassed, looking away. "So, we're going to the mall?"

"If you wanna. That'd be fun. Especially after yesterday."

"I can't believe you just hit the guy like that."

"I shoved him. Difference."

"Not difference. At least I was there to catch you."

Shisui smiled. "Yeah. Thanks for that, B.T.W., I would've gotten a concussion. Best friends are for, right?"

Itachi nodded slightly, smiling bashfully.

-o-

"Thanks, aunt Miki!" Shisui yelled over his shoulder as they went upstairs, two bottles of root beer in one hand, a bowl of chips in the other. He snorted in laughter as Itachi turned the doorknob with his foot, hands full from the bags. "Seriously? I coulda got that."

"It's cool," Itachi returned, setting the shopping bags down on the bed, plopping down beside them as he pulled off his converse, leaving his socks, turning over to lay on his stomach. "I can't believe there was a sale at Ringer's. Look at all the shit we got."

"I know, right? Where's that one tee-shirt. Did you see this one?" Shisui held it up in front of him.

"Get the Hell out of here! You really got that?"

Shisui snorted in laughter. "It's funny!"

"It's inap...yeah, it's funny. Where are you gonna wear it?"

"School?"

"'Don't Hate Me 'Cause You're a Douchebag?'" Itachi quoted incredulously. "Where's the one about passing the blunt?"

"Oh! 'Cool Story, Bro.'"

"Yeah."

Shisui tossed the bag to Itachi while he twisted the caps off of the bottles, handing one to his cousin, who nodded in thanks. Shisui plopped down beside him, downing some of his root beer. Itachi smiled, gazing at Shisui from the corner of his eye.

"What do you wanna play?" Shisui asked, sloshing his drink around in the bottle.

"Black Ops 2?"

"You. Are. BADASS!" Shisui cheered, "Damn, you're the coolest chick I've ever met. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were a guy! You're too cute for that, though," he shrugged, grabbing a controller off of the floor. Itachi felt his eyes burn pleasantly, blushing vibrantly.

"Nobody's said that before," he stated plainly.

"Get used ta' hearin' it, 'tachi. You're awesome."

-o-

Itachi woke up at what the clock blared was three in the morning to a cold draft in the room, the balcony doors open, and Shisui absent. He sat up, stretching and groaning softly as his back popped, striding to the balcony to see Shisui leaning against the railing, smoking langurously. He glanced over his shoulder, flicking away ashes over the railing.

"Sorry. Did I wake you?"

Itachi shook his head no, watching the teen, noticing how the brunette of his messy tresses caught in the moonlight, how the cigarette smoke looked like some sort of mythical gossamer, and how warm and inviting Shisui looked. He frowned.

"Hey...don't get offended or nothin', but your Dad's kinda a freak, isn't he? Like...he looks at you weird."

"What are you doing to me?..." Itachi asked suddenly. "...Why?"

It was Shisui's turn to frown. "What? 'tachi, did I do somethin' wrong?"

"You...you're just...why do you like me?" he demanded.

"'Cause, you're cute, funny, rambunctious, and tomboyish, even while lookin' girly and shit. You can hold your own and aren't afraid to stand up for yourself. I've been with you three days and I've seen more of a person in you than I'd ever seen in anyone else, even in myself. You're smart, pretty, and fuckin' awe-"

"Shut up!" Itachi screamed, "You don't know anything about me! Go back to Korea! You don't know anything about me!"

Shisui winced, grabbing Itachi's wrist as he went to leave. "Oi! You don't really mean that, do you?"

"Yes. I do. I don't want to like you, Shisui," Itachi growled. "Stop."

Shisui frowned. "What did I do? If I don't know you then let me know you! Don't go hidin' from me. I'll find you."

"I don't wanna be found!"

Shisui growled and pulled Itachi into his arms roughly, bringing their lips together heatedly. Itachi's heart fluttered and beat rapidly, becoming short of breath. He latched on to Shisui's biceps and pulled at the fabric of his hoodie. Shisui's hand slipped to Itachi's neck, then down along his chest. Itachi pulled away.

_"Fuck..."_ Itachi muttered. "Don't...don't...I'm taken."

Shisui's brows furrowed. "I don't give a fuck."

Itachi stared at the ground. "I'm a tramp. I'm a fucking whore."

"Again, don't care."

"I'm no good for you!" Itachi banged his fists against Shisui's chest angrily.

Shisui grabbed Itachi again, kissing him harder, slipping his tongue into Itachi's unexpecting mouth. Itachi gasped and arched. Why was this so good? Why did he like this? Why did he let Shisui do this?

Because he was a whore, that's why.

Shisui broke the kiss, both panting and blurry-eyed with lust. Itachi shook his head no, hands pressing weakly against Shisui's chest, and Shisui nodded in understanding. _"Who hurt you?"_ he asked gently after a while.

"Nobody. Somebody. I can't tell you."

"It's your father, isn't it-"

"I _can't_...tell you. I can't. We can...this, we can do this. I want to be with you. I'm not taken. But I'm a slut. I will never be fully yours. No matter how hard I try."

Shisui nodded absently, pressing Itachi against the cold wall and kissing him langurously. Itachi allowed this, humming his approval as Shisui's hand caressed Itachi's abdomen, their heads lilting lazily, their tongues entwining.

_So this is what it's like..._Itachi thought after the haze from his mind cleared.

Shisui suddenly smiled. "I like you."

"I like you, too," Itachi returned with a hesitant smile. "But I'm not who you think I am."

"Who are you then? I'd like to know_all_ of you better," Shisui teased, his fingers dancing playfully around Itachi's bellybutton. Itachi blushed.

"Not who you think I am, that's for sure."

Shisui watched Itachi carefully for a bit, then smirked. "Well, whoever you are now is a Hell of a person."

-o-

Itachi stood before his father, blushing and ashamed. He closed his eyes and remembered what Shisui said, then opened them again, staring straight into his father's passionless eyes, challenging and cold. He brushed his hair out of his face, leaving nothing to hide his expression, and said, "Get on with it."

The smack that followed barely registered as he was forced to his knees.

-o-

A/N: Hello, all~

The ever-absent Guardian, at your service!

I've finally posted the second chapter of Big Girls Don't Cry! It's a bit of a triumph, but only after toying with it a bit. I'm actually pleased with how it came out. It may seem to be going a bit fast, but trust me, it's nowhere yet.

I'm deciding on a few more paths, so it's gonna be a while before the next chapter. I wish I could give you guys a set date but -sigh-, my Train of Thought is constantly off-schedule. This is why I don't own a white rabbit nor a pocket watch.

So feel free to tell me what you think!

Happy Holidays!

-The Dizzy, Giddy Nakano~


	3. Chapter 3

The soft breathing of his boyfriend's chest was lulling him to sleep gradually, the steady rise and fall that he rested his head on making him drift off. It felt so natural to have Shisui's hand rest on his lower back, have their legs tangled together carelessly in the sheets. There was a sort of instant connection that made Itachi dizzy. The natural unnaturalness of it killed him to think about. Both cousins, both male, Itachi three years younger than his nineteen year old lover? Recipie for disaster. Then again, Itachi was good at disasters, and cooking, too. Where was the harm? He reasoned that, with his already infantisimally fucked-up life, this was but a mere nuance.

_A comfortable nuance, _he thought sleepily, smiling lightly. His hand ran up and down Shisui's chest every-so-often, committing every detail to memory, every breath, every sigh. For half a second, Itachi thought about telling him. Everything. Gender and all. He frowned. _No way. Shisui's straight. _

Shaking his head, he resolved to ignore any gnawing insecurities and enjoy the summer with his cousin-turned-best friend-turned-lover. It would all end eventually and he would be alone again. He would be nothing again. Tears clawed at his eyes that he briskly blinked away. Suddenly, Shisui turned them over.

_"Surprise,"_ he whisper-yelled. _"I love you!"_

Itachi gaped. "...what the fuck?'

"Yeah," Shisui chirped, rolling off of Itachi. "I was thinking and I don't just like you. I dunno why. You're so...fuckin' awesome. Like, I can't even with life right now," and with the most earnest look in his eyes, he muttered, "I think I really do love you."

Itachi raised an eyebrow. Something in his gut said yes, but his head said no. "You don't know what love is, Shisui. You're a teenager."

Looking a tad hurt, Shisui frowned a bit. Itachi, attempting to rectify the situation, assuaged, "Most teenagers think they're in love, Shisui."

"I'm not most teenagers, 'tachi," he muttered, looking downcast. "Sorry I said anything."

"No," Itachi grabbed onto Shisui's arm as he turned over. "No, _I'm_ sorry, Shisui. I'll...I mean..." Itachi felt his eyes burn and shook his head, choking up a bit. "It'd be best for you not to love me. I mean it. Don't. Please?"

"..." Shisui stared at the blanket, then leaned over, kissing the corner of Itachi's mouth. "I can't. I mean...it's stupid, yeah, we got together last _night_, but...I dunno. It's something about you. You're..." he trailed off. "I sound _wa-a-ay _too cliche right now. Sorry. I sound like I'm from 'Brokeback Mountain' or something," Shisui's nose scrunched up cutely and he snorted in laughter. "Sorry. Awkward."

"Not really. You watched that movie?" Itachi blinked.

"Yeah. It was pretty good. Last part really killed me. Mama was in tears," Shisui laughed. Itachi gave him an odd look. "Oh. Yeah. Weird, right? But it was good."

"Your mom made you watch it?" Itachi asked carefully.

"No. Why-ohhh. Ah, I get it. But I'm bi," he assured. "Sorry. Does that bother you?"

Itachi scoffed incredulously, drawing a smirk from the older teen. "Didn't have to laugh at me, 'tachi," he whispered, wrapping an arm around the younger's waist and pulling him in, kissing the corner of his mouth gently. Itachi moaned softly as Shisui's hand ran up his clothed torso, teasing him through his tank top. Bowing into his touch, Itachi murmured Shisui's name softly, pressing his cheek to his boyfriend's shoulder, head lilting perfectly into Shisui's neck. The Korean smirked, kissing Itachi gently as his hand slipped up Itachi's shirt, hand stopping on the sports bra Itachi insisted on wearing to bed. Gasping, Itachi flushed, a knot forming in his stomach as he moaned. With a smirk, Shisui's other hand buised itself running up Itachi's thigh, teasing, "You _are_ flat-chested, aren't you? It's cute," he chuckled. _"And sexy..."_ he added.

Itachi, forgetting himself, grabbed Shisui's wandering hand and bristled, "I'm sure your _junk_ isn't much to look at, either."

Shisui nearly erupted into laughter. "Ok, ok, I get it. But maybe one day I'll have to prove you wrong, my pretty little cock-tease. _Until then," _ he whispered, pressing his lips to Itachi's, "the wait is nearly unbearable."

With that, Itachi's eyes flickered downward and he flushed. _"Sorry..." _he murmured.

Shisui only laughed again. "It's good," he assured. "It's my bad, anyways. I'm gonna go take a shower, 'kay-hm?"

Itachi grabbed Shisui's wrist, tucking his long hair behind his ear; he bit his lip and whispered, _"I told you I'm a slut."_

Shisui frowned. "Don't call yourself-Hell, Itachi, what are you doing?" he pushed Itachi away as his lover's head dipped low.

Itachi scowled lightly. "I'm a slut. A whore. And I love you, too. Push me away again, and I'll punch you in the dick. _Capice_?"

Shisui rolled his eyes but gave a start when he realized what Itachi had said. "...you mean it?"

"What?"

"That'd you'd punch me in the dick," Shisui stated sardonically. "That you love me."

Itachi glanced away, only bowing his head once more, unknowing if he was proving whether or not he was a slut, but pleased nonetheless as he took Shisui's impressive size into his mouth with no trouble at all.

-o-

Itachi entered his room with a plate of sandwiches on his hip and two sodas in hand to see Shisui strumming away at an acoustic guitar, reclining on the bed easily. Itachi smiled lightly and closed the door with his foot, putting the sandwiches on the bed between them and Shisui's can of soda beside him on the bedside table, Itachi's going in the middle of his crossed legs. The younger teen listened contently as Shisui played, the soft twang of the strings suggesting age and great care. He watched Shisui's fingers move lightly across the neck as he nibbled on a sandwich, wondering what it would be like if Shisui knew who he really was. He _had _said that he was bi...but it would be too much to explain why his family recognized him as a girl. He also wondered at those fingers that plucked at the strings easily, how they made his body bow and arch with such lackadasical yet such intent ease. It was almost terrifying to feel that pleasure that he always gave, never recieved; it was unnerving, mind shattering, and undeniably exciting. And, really, with the range of emotions Itachi was feeling recently, he might as well have _been _a girl. He was getting sick of tearing up over nothing, but it was so hard not to.

Without knowing it, he was swaying gently with the guitar's rhythm, a hand on Shisui's knee.

"Yeah, 'hon?"

"Oh!" Itachi drew his hand back. "Sorry...um...I didn't know you play guitar."

"Yeah. I learned a while back."

"Oh...that's cool," Itachi muttered bashfully.

"You wanna learn?" Shisui asked suddenly, smiling when Itachi nodded shyly.

The older teen uncrossed his legs and Itachi slipped between them, laying back against Shisui's chest. Shisui brought the six-string around and guided Itachi's hands to the strings, their fingers brushing gently as Shisui cupped Itachi's delicate, pale hands. His lips pressed to the outer shell of the younger teen's ear as he whispered, _"Get a feel for it. Don't be intimidated. It's easy. Watch,"_ and he began to play, only with Itachi's hands. "Listen for the sounds you can make. String them together."

It was nearly an eternity that they meshed together so perfectly, Shisui's hands on Itachi's, warmth glowing between them. Itachi forgot about the sandwiches, the sodas, the room, the house. He forgot his brother, his mother, his father, even himself, even that he was a boyish girl, or a girlish boy. All that existed was him and Shisui and that warmth and the guitar.

Suddenly, Itachi felt something tighten around his waist and realized that Shisui had let go of his hands, but the music was still playing; Itachi was still playing.

He stopped, looking over his shoulder. "For a minute, I forgot," he muttered, astonished.

Shisui gave a knowing grin that made his freckled nose crinkle up in that adorable way of his.

-o-

It hadn't occured to Itachi how much trouble Shisui would be when they met. He must've been so distracted by his cousin's comfortable presence that he didn't notice how easy it would be to coax Itachi into getting drunk while his parents were away.

They giggled like idiots as they shared a bottle of vodka, sitting on the roof, impervious to the cold in their drunken state. Shisui kept glancing at Itachi shyly, as if a schoolgirl in love, and finally asked, "Have you ever had a boyfriend before?'

Itachi rolled his eyes and said, "No, have _you_?"

"Yes!" he laughed, and Itachi flinched, but scowled when he said, "You!"

"I'm a girl!" Itachi yelled indignantly, standing unsteadily on the roof.

"..." Shisui tilted his head. "You _sure_ you never had a boy before?"

"Yes, I'm sure. You're the only one," Itachi wrapped his arms around Shisui, cuddling into his neck, inhailing deeply. They pressed together and began to kiss deeply, smiling and touching easily before Shisui suddenly chuckled quietly, pulling away.

"Wha-at about your dad?" he asked with a hiccup, laughing innocently, unknowing of the offense he caused. Itachi drew back as if he'd been slapped, and began to cry. "Itachi...?"

"You don't understand!" he yelled suddenly. "You'll never understand! I'm a slut! A whore! I'm an awful person! I'm a fucking bitch and I deserve to die! I want to die, Shisui!"

"Itachi, where is this comin-g from?" Shisui stared, confused in his drunken stupor.

Itachi stood again, but quickly lost his balance on the sloped roof, falling backwards with a cry, his world falling out from underneath his feet, not for the first time.

Shisui stood and grabbed his wrist before he fell and pulled him back up, but instead of pulling Itachi into his arms as was instinct, he grabbed his shoulders and stared dead into his boyfriend's eyes.

"Don't say that again," he growled. "I don't wanna hear you say that again."

Itachi, jolted and sobered by the near-fall, near-death, nodded steadily, tears flooding his cheeks. "Why do you want to die, Itachi?"

"..." Itachi shook his head no slowly, glancing down at the height he nearly fell from, feeling suddenly nauseous and dizzy and so, so out of his element. "I don't know what you're going to do with me," he said simply, quietly. "Just stop now. Don't love me. Let go now!"

"What did he _do_ to you, Itachi?" Shisui demanded. "Itachi."

"He's very overbearing, let's leave it at that. Please, just leave it at that," he pleaded, unnerved by Shisui's fierce, protective eyes, then added uncertainly as he glanced down at the ground once more, "...And don't let me go..."

Shisui nodded and pulled Itachi close, Itachi's arms wrapping around Shisui's neck instinctively, Shisui's arms around Itachi's waist. They stayed like that for a while before Shisui promised, _"I'll find out one day."_

Itachi, with no doubt in his mind that everything would come crashing around him when that day came-which it would, nodded into his shoulder, enjoying the temporary peace in his infantisimally fucked-up life.

* * *

A/N: Hey, guys~Look who's sticking to her New Year's Resolution before New Years! XD -issuchanawfulperson-

So, yeah~This fic is starting to stray a bit, but I'm reigning it in. Feel free to tell me what you think!

I'm honestly afraid I'm getting too cliche. It's just that every time I think of them, I think instant connection, nothing between them. No problems.

But it happens too much. I gotta fix that -_-

Anyways, thank you for reading!

-The bubbly, determined Nakano~


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